First Dates in Astoria: 14 Steps That Describe Your First Date


1. You don’t know where you’re supposed to meet people…so you start hitting up the local nightlife. 

2. But once you get there, the clubs are a little different than you remember.

3. So you try meeting someone at a bar..but that doesn’t go well.

4. So you decide to meet someone the old fashioned way… online! Is that old fashioned yet? (Location: Astoria. Interests: … long walks on the beach? Taking my dog to the park?)

5. You both settle on brunch..because that’s safe and non-committal, and everybody loves brunch in Astoria, right?

6. But you realize they’re not a stranger…because everyone knows everyone, and your date knows your uncle’s cousin’s best friend’s mom

7. …and that you’ve seen them on Facebook before…


8. But you decide to continue the date, and see if you have anything in common.

9. And then you run out of things to talk about…

10. So you eat quietly and awkwardly…

11. You end the date and don’t know if you should do the awkward hug..

12. ..or the awkward kiss.

13. …so you settle on awkwardly waving.

14. …and secretly hope you’ll get another date, but this time to dinner.